If you feel more than a little angry on a regular basis, you might want to incorporate a few anger management techniques into your life. Anger can cause a whole host of challenges, from health issues, to career challenges, to even finding yourself in jail.
Most people avoid relationships with someone that is frequently angry.
This is due to most people having learning histories with significantly aversive moments when encountering the anger of others. Simply put, anger just isn’t attractive, and it drives others away, both in your personal and professional life.
Luckily, there are strategies you can practice that can help you deal with your anger in a constructive manner.
Tame your anger and feel better with these techniques:
1. It’s important to want to resolve your anger issues.
Many people with anger management issues don’t view their anger behaviors as problematic. Many believe that their expressions of anger (i.e., anger behaviors) are simply them just being honest. Others acknowledge that they often get their way when they show a little anger.
Behaviorally, their anger behaviors have been reinforced across different people and settings, over long periods of time, resulting in their behaviors generalizing and becoming long lasting.
- If you don’t see your anger as a problem (i.e., negatively impacting your life), you won’t be motivated to build habits to reduce anger behaviors.
2. Be more accepting of others.
In order to successfully address your anger behaviors, you have to learn your triggers. Ask yourself, “What makes me angry?” Typically reported, people feel angry when others don’t behave the way they thought they should.
This goes deeper into the concepts of social contracts, however, what is important to know is that one’s preconceived assumptions (based on their individual learning history) sets expectations that then go unmet, triggering feelings of denied access to what was expected.
- Perhaps you’re being unreasonable. There are a lot of ways to view the world other than your own. Be willing to accept other perspectives, value systems, and ways of doing things.
3. Avoid making assumptions.
Those that are chronically angry tend to assume hostile motives by those who are making them angry. Do you really know why someone did something? In most cases, you can’t know. So why assume their motive is the most unappealing option you can imagine?
Behaviorally, you must remember that thoughts and emotions are private event behaviors that can only be described by the person experiencing them. This means, that just as someone does not know what you are assuming about them, you cannot “know” what someone else is thinking or feeling about you.
- Put off judging the motivations of others until you have actual proof. Assume innocence until you have information to the contrary. It’s not easy to know exactly why someone did or said something. Perhaps you could ask them!
4. Take a five-minute break before responding in anger.
You don’t think rationally when you’re angry, you think with a hostile mindset. Wait until you’re calm before making a decision.
- Science has shown that the ability to think rationally is compromised when you’re feeling strong emotions. You’re acting more from instinct than intellect when you’re angry.
5. Exercise.
There are many studies that have shown that exercise is helpful in boosting your mood, and it doesn’t take a lot of exercise. A 5-minute jog can take the edge off your anger. And if you’re not a runner or you’re in a work environment, standing up and just dancing in place for 1-minute, or until the whole song has played, can help reduce negative energy and emotions.
- Make exercise a daily routine and notice how it affects your anger.
6. Use relaxation techniques.
Deep breathing, meditation, and music that soothes you can all help. So can a warm bath, aromatherapy, and spending time doing hobbies that you enjoy. Try a variety of techniques and stick with the ones that work best for you.
- It’s best to make a habit of using relaxation throughout the day, not just when you’re feeling angry. Prevention can be the best cure.
7. Reduce the amount of stress in your life.
Stress puts you closer to the threshold of anger. Think about everything in your life that causes you stress. What changes can you make to reduce that stress?
If you’re still having trouble controlling your anger, professional help is available. Anger management issues are common and some mental health professionals specialize in helping those that can’t control their anger. Help from an expert can be more effective than trying to deal with this issue on your own.
- Anger is a common emotion, but most people don’t feel anger to any great degree on a regular basis. If you have difficulty making it through the day without boiling over at least once, it may be time to gain control over your anger.
Chronic stress and feelings of anger can be very damaging to relationships, your health, and your career.
Manage your anger effectively. Take control of this negative emotion and you’ll benefit in more ways than you can imagine!
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