Learning how to control your anger is one of the best skills you can learn in life! While difficult, it can open up doors for you that may never open for others. Here are 8 tips that can help you learn to cope with feelings of anger and regain focus.
- Limit Yourself to “I” Statements
- It is more productive to say, “I feel upset when you’re late” as opposed to, “You’re always late.”
- This allows you to focus on your feelings, which can be worked on, versus the actions of others, which you have no control over.
- Only Express Your Anger When You Are Calm
- Expressing your feelings at the peak of your anger accomplishes nothing positive. Wait until you’ve calmed down and then let others know that you’re not happy.
- This avoids triggering negative responses, increasing the likelihood that you will listened to and your feelings heard and addressed.
- Work on Solutions!
- Rather than just venting your emotions, providing the listener with solutions to your problems increases the probability they can and will make changes to their behaviors.
- Most of the time, we just vent and let everyone know when we’re angry. Instead, providing possible solutions makes you seem like you are someone others can work with, and helps you avoid being labeled as difficult.
- Use a Little Humor
- Lifting the prevailing mood with some lighthearted humor can diffuse the situation and make everyone feel a little better.
- HOWEVER, be sure the situation allows for humor. Not everyone can find humor in stressful moments.
- Know When an Expert is Needed
- It’s okay to seek professional help if you have a difficult time controlling your anger. There is nothing to be afraid or ashamed of.
- Would you be ashamed if you hurt your knee and had to have a doctor look at it? Of course not!
- Be Able to Forgive
- A person that can’t forgive others is doomed to be miserable.
- Let go of the past by learning to forgive and forget. Otherwise, you’ll hold onto thoughts and emotions that are only affecting you, which gives other people reasons to label you as difficult or “emotional”.
- Use Exercise as a Tool
- Emotional energy can be released via physical activity. Get active and watch your anger melt away.
- Breathe
- A few relaxed, steady, deep breaths can work wonders. Give yourself a 10-second break to think and relax before you say something you’ll regret.
- Mindfulness apps can be an excellent source of ways to learn how to stop yourself in a moment and regain focus.
Put these tips into your daily routines and build long term life habits that will affect your anger management in a positive way. It’s an ongoing battle to control your emotions, but you can do it! You’ll be happy you did!
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